Big Wet Mop

from Songs For Fred by Jay Williams

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about

Cleaning up in the middle east. With a hey-nanny-nanny and a ha-cha-cha. I figured this song would seem dated by now; alas, it's as topical as ever. There is no more quintessential Los Angeles songwriter than Warren Zevon. Copied but never equalled, here's my clumsy attempt anyway. The trick is to get a good running start, and hurl yourself against the wall... And yes, I really did find a dead wino in the parking lot.

lyrics

I am not from Tennessee… and I don’t know how to fish
Back home the hills were never green… I am from Los Angeles
I never bounced on Mama’s knee… we never had no milking cow
We got our milk from A&P, I think it might be Safeway now..
Or maybe QFC

I was a box boy in that store when I was just 15
They don’t say box boy anymore… it’s incorrect politically
One day I found a dead wino.. while dragging carts in off the lot
His skin was clammy and so cold.. but his urine was still hot
Hot... it was still steaming…
it was steaming… steaming... steaming, his urine was still hot

My manager said to me You better clean that mess right up
He’s just some wino off the street, you better use the big wet mop
We don’t say “wino” anymore, now he’s ‘dependent chemically’
We don’t sell cauliflower no more, it’s been crossed with broccoli,
Broccoli!



I am from the USA
where the good times never stop
I’ve learned to look the other way
How to swing the big wet mop

I am not from Tennessee, I ain’t a box boy anymore
These days I drive a big Humvee, I’m a soldier in the war
There are no jobs in Tennessee, but there’s a lot here in Iraq
You can clean up in this country, if you can swing the big wet mop

We don’ say genocide no more, we say we spread democracy
Right here we’ll put a Safeway store… Or it might be QFC.
Or maybe Target… Target.. Target…Brings us lots of jobs

credits

from Songs For Fred, released September 23, 2014
This one's all me, for better or worse. The whole thing happened in one day, from waking up and writing lyrics to the final mix. It was like a boil you have to exorcise.

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Jay Williams Bainbridge Island, Washington

Grew up in L.A., next door to Rodney King. Foster kid, on welfare, muttsville. Heard John Prine at the Roxy when I was 16, changed my life. Stumbled into KROQ in the 1980s, got my 15 mins of fame. Moved to the Northwest, found community, then lost them when compassion became their justification for fascism. I'm over humans. These songs feel like phantom limbs. Cats are my gurus now. ... more

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